I am a liar who cannot be trusted. After a self-pitying post about how I was going to fail to post anything for the first time in two months, I’ve snuck in before midnight and written something. I have no idea what this is, it fell out of my brain in about 10 minutes, but it is something and it’s late.

The Reply-All Manifesto

Wear the uniform, talk to the right people, keep them sweet.
Learn who everyone supports.
Partake in witty banter.
Reply-all to emails.
Pace corridors with a hurried frown, pen and pad in hand
Click click click click click click the pen in and out.
Agitated urgency.
Deflect blame, proliferate praise.
Reply-all to emails.
Moan about meetings.
Go to all the meetings.
Delegate, distribute.
Reply all to emails.
Extend 20-second conversations to three minutes,
Pontificate, aggrandise,
Banal smalltalk in the illusion of productivity.
Reply all to emails.
Avoid all the work.
Reply all to all of your emails.