After The Fall

By

Evie and I live on floor 43 of Tower Three on the south side of Central Square. We share our room with a couple called Amy and Graeme. Graeme used to be a fitness instructor and DJ. He still talks about football as if it exists.

‘You Arsenal then?’ he asks when we first move in.

‘Of course,’ I say.

I’m not Arsenal. I’m the opposite of Arsenal. Had Graham been the perceptive sort, he would have noticed a hint of a beat of a pause before my reply.

Our room faces Central Square, where KidSafe lurks in the shadows of the four monoliths that surround it. We’re lucky. Those who face outwards have a permanent reminder of the desolation beyond the city and get regular jumpers past their balconies. People don’t jump on our side. No one wants to land on a kid and have that on their conscience too.

Three weeks ago while walking a lap of our floor, I found a young boy about to jump. He was wearing his coat like a cape with the hood on his head and said he was ready to fly to freedom. I spent a few minutes talking to him, but that just seemed to make the situation worse, so I grabbed him and pulled him off the ledge. He spat in my face before the police cuffed him and dragged him away. Three days later he stabbed his parents and jumped anyway, so I guess the point of this story is that I don’t have a great deal of truck with people who say ‘everything happens for a reason.’

Evie flicks the lamp on as I walk in. Once upon a time, she found it cute how I sneezed when we turned the light on in the morning. Now, she resents it, calls it an affectation, a substitute for character, a fiction. I just think we’re lucky to have electricity.

‘But that’s your problem,’ she says, standing up, hands on hips. I’m pretty sure she’s a bona-fide mind-reader. ‘You think we’re ‘lucky’ to have electricity, as if everything happens by magic.’

I don’t say anything, my eyes just sort of dart around searching for something to hold on to because this is going to be a rocky ride.

‘The reason we still have electricity is because some people in this block have done something about it.’ I think she’s talking about herself now. ‘They have adapted, to help us survive.’ Yes, that’s definitely her. Evie used to work in a library, but is now a covert female self-defence instructor operating out of the basement of Tower Two. ‘They haven’t just carried on living in dreamland. The world doesn’t deal in abstract ideals anymore, Truman.’ I think she’s talking about me now. ‘You do anything for a quiet life, you always have.’ Told you. ‘But there is no quiet life now. The world is different. Look at Clive.’

Here we go. Clive comes up in conversation a lot more these days.

‘He’s adapted. He was a loser before The Fall. Look at him now.’

Yep, a real winner. Snitching on neighbours to Command. Evie sees my look.

‘I know what you’re thinking, but at least he’s got a house. A house with running water, Truman! It’s amazing.’

‘It might not be amazing,’ I say. ‘It might be a depressing two-up-two down with a damp problem.’

‘It’s not! It’s spacious and warm and safe.’

There is a short, charged silence as we look at each other, our breath held. I think of Derek and his tie dangling over his groin. Evie spins back towards the window and folds her arms.

‘Some of us are doing what we have to to survive.’

I walk towards her, my footsteps loud on the bare floorboards, but she stops me dead with a raise of her hand.

‘Don’t. Just go.’

**

In response to the Abstract Daily Prompt, I wrote this as a sort of companion to Clive Gets Crushed, which I’ve since worked on and is now called Mitigating Circumstances. You might recognise Graeme ;). There’s a chance it will all form part of the short story that I submit to my MA, so will have to take if offline if I do. Here’s Part 3 of the story.

83 responses to “After The Fall”

  1. Doublespeak

    Love this world you’ve been working on. The extra layer of environment really adds menace. Want to know more about it.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thank you so much! Must admit I’ve fallen in love with its world. I just have to decide whether to go bigger with it, given I’ve already got two longer projects I’m working on.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Mandie Hines

    This is an interesting piece. I read a quote by Frank Herbert this morning, and it came to mind while I read this. “A writer’s job is to do whatever is necessary to make the reader want to read the next line.” I think you achieved this. Well done.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Yikes. Thank you!

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Doublespeak

      Ironically, by the end of Book 3 of Dune, I was forcing myself to read the next line…

      Liked by 4 people

      1. If I can get someone to the end of a book three I’ll be very happy. 600 words is a bit easier! But I appreciate the comments!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Mandie Hines

        Yes, unfortunately some people have great advice, they just can’t live up to it themselves.

        Liked by 3 people

  3. Scarlett Sauvage

    That really drew me in…and I can’t usually concentrate on anything over 100 words when I’m reading online. Nicely done. Wish I hadn’t read it before coffee though…kind of bummed me out a bit 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you, and sorry!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. […] Source: After The Fall […]

    Liked by 2 people

  5. badparentingweb

    I wonder if there’s a way I can join in on this! I really enjoyed the story. I’ve been writing dystopian flash fiction of my own (maybe apocalyptic is a better descriptor than Dystopian), and I sure would appreciate some feedback from folks who care. It’s really effed up and vile and crass and about the current political climate in the U.S. Thanks for sharing and please let me know if there is an avenue in which I can share mine.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’d love to read it! Can you publish it on your blog and send a link? Or maybe try Wattpad or similar?

      Liked by 2 people

      1. badparentingweb

        Wow, I am honored to get some feedback. Again, more apoclyptic than dystopian, but someone else called it dystopian, so what do I know.

        Anyway, I’m linking the first one now. It’s called Apoca-Lit (the blog post, not the title). There’s a second one, then the third installment is called “Polar,” which is what I’m tentatively titling it. I’m also shopping it around to try to make a graphic novel, so if anyone knows any visual artists…

        https://badparentingweb.wordpress.com/2017/03/06/apoca-lit/

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Thank you sir. I’ll definitely have a read. Good luck!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Wow, what an interesting piece! So glad I found you through WordPress Discover. The line they quoted, “We’re lucky. Those who face outwards…”, that’s really something. Grabbed me right away. Hope you do work on it and expand the universe. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks so much Essi! I really appreciate people reading it and am very grateful to WordPress for featuring it today 🙂 I’m about to post up the last section of this story. Thanks again.

      Liked by 2 people

  7. […] post this up today after WordPress very kindly featured the second part of the story – After The Fall – in their Editors’ Picks today. I’m trying to be all cool about that, but really […]

    Liked by 1 person

  8. That was a good read. Sharp, nicely crafted. A good glimpse into that world.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you! And cheers for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Holy smokes, your writing style is absolutely brilliant.

    You’ve got an amazing ability to create a world with layers upon layers, and then condense it to such a short read. Seriously, how’d you manage to create more character depth in 600 words than most authors do in an entire novel?

    Definitely inspired me to try my hand at flash fiction.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Wow! Thank you so much for that. It means so much to have people read and like it and I’m thrilled to have inspired you. Flash fiction is such a good discipline to practice for your longer-form stuff. Helps you find the core of your story and extract as much meaning as possible from as few words as possible. Good luck!

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Well written and very interesting story

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Leonhard. Really appreciate you reading and commenting 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I just stumbled in, and couldn’t stop reading. It’s intriguing, and well written!
    Just in case you wanted to know what a “layperson” thinks of it 😉

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much!

      Liked by 2 people

  12. Very interesting

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Uwc…it was really nice am new here tho pls can u kinldy look into my blog and hit your follow button and tell your friends am here☺

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I’ve had a look. What I would say is you might be better served if you didn’t write in text speak. It’s quite difficult to follow what you’re trying to say. You have all the space in the world with your blog, so take the time to write your words out fully, put some pictures up and I’m sure you’ll get readers. Good luck!

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Ohhk thank you

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Great book ! 😀😀😀

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks!

      Liked by 2 people

  14. suezway

    This is wonderful. I totally wanted to keep on reading, line after line until the last one. Well written.

    Wishes
    http://www.suezway.wordpress.com

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much! Means the world to know people have enjoyed it 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. suezway

        Your welcome. I am definitely keeping i touch for more.

        http://www.suezway.wordpress.com

        Liked by 4 people

      2. Thank you 🙂 You should know that when I click on your profile, it takes me to a defunct page. You can update that I’m sure.

        Liked by 4 people

  15. lincolnlifesite

    Reblogged this on Lincoln Life Blog.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. lincolnlifesite

        your welcome Ben

        Liked by 2 people

      2. lincolnlifesite

        YOU HAVE A GREAT SITE

        Liked by 2 people

      3. Thank you again sir 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Reblogged this on Wag 'n Bietjie.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you!

      Liked by 2 people

  17. Kuki

    V intresting

    Liked by 3 people

  18. This is an interesting posting. I love it.

    Liked by 3 people

  19. I really enjoyed the story……I was completely into it……It was massive and very well written

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  20. This was so good. I want more of this story so part three here I come!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks! Hope you enjoy 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  21. […] out Ben’s worlds, starting with here with After the […]

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  22. […] via After The Fall — Just Punch The Clock […]

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you very much 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Great read, I felt like I was a fly on the wall…in every scene. Very descriptive precise writing. I enjoyed this read. “Everything happens for a reason” that saying has always been one I couldn’t agree 100% on I’m glad you showed the downside to that. Nice post! Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Melissa and thank you for taking the time to comment. Much appreciated 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  24. “He still talks about football as if it exists.” – What a brilliantly ambiguous image into another existence. Great little lunch time read. Thanks

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you! And thanks for taking the time comment. It means a lot 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I really loved that line. It says so much about the world and about the character in almost no words at all.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thanks Charissa, very kind 🙂

        Like

      2. I agree, it sets the scene instantly. So efficient. Really enjoyed this read.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thank you Salmon!

        Like

  25. Well well, an other nice place to save for my reading hours…really glad about! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Robert! Hope you enjoy 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep, subscribed.

        Liked by 1 person

  26. Interesting piece. I look forward to reading more. Will subscribe. Cheers! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Jerod. Appreciate it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  27. compoundexorcises

    Very nicely done. You’ve got yourself a new subscriber.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much!

      Like

  28. lovely !

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 🙂

      Like

  29. Norman Vincent

    Reblogged this on Norman Vincent.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 🙂

      Like

  30. Dave Dally

    Very nice post and very informative and creative

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Dave

      Like

  31. Excellent content

    If you feel, you can visit my blog at : https://cheerfulbeings.wordpress.com/2017/04/15/rising-above-the-downcasts/?preview=true

    Liked by 1 person

  32. […] – Jacob Gets Crushed 2- After The Fall 3- Choices 4- The Start Of The Fall 5- Trouble In the Quiet 6- Jarrod Runs The […]

    Like

  33. Love this..
    Could dis b all??

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you 🙂 no, there’s lots more. The latest part is here: https://justpunchtheclock.com/2017/04/16/truman-and-evie/ and at the end of it are links to the rest of the story. Thanks for reading 🙂

      Like

      1. Thanks.
        Would check the link now..
        Would also love to refer you to mine you know

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I get an error when I try to access your site. Might be worth checking the link

        Like

      3. Probably you could check it using another browser.
        Just finished your “after the fall ” though..
        Lovely piece overall

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Why not try this..
        aprilzarticles.wordpress.com
        I believe that would Work best.
        Thanks

        Liked by 1 person

  34. […] but not as one story. I thought it would be helpful, since so many people arrived at my site via ‘After The Fall’, to read it in context with the bigger story. I hope you like it, I’m quite proud of it. I […]

    Like

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